It's hot. It must be about 10 degrees hotter in my room than it is anywhere else. And the subway car I picked out on the way home had no air-conditioning at all. It was like riding in a shakey, noisy tomb for half an hour. A lot of people got off as soon as they stepped inside. I decided to brave it, "sweat it out", so to speak. And I did. Right through my shirt, but I enjoyed it. It's good to get in a good sweat now and then, though some oxygen would have made it a bit nicer.
I'm disappointed in my writing, as mentioned yesterday. I'm trying to be determined to fight through it, because that's what I've been missing. Fight. Maybe I should start a fight club of the mind. Did I write that before? Despite my sinking self-seteem at times like there, I'm trying to be better. Keep it up, work the muscle, maybe it'll get strong. I want to come up with some other exercises that I can do on my own. The topic project is good because it's.. what is it.. because it's enforced I guess. Not with any actual authority, but with good natured, mostly self-inflicted guilt. Some private exercise will allow me to be a moron though. Let the idiot that's in there struggling to get out roam free.
Getting some good work done on slapnose in the past few days feels good. Even though I have no clear vision for it, at least I'm trying to keep it coherent, keep the clutter to a minimum. It's growing though, and soon the main navigation will have to be redesigned. I keep making little mini-sites behind the main pages with their own navigation, instead of a coherent whole. I could probably draw a nice parallel between that and my real life, but I won't. I'm not good at those, waddayacallem.. metaphors.
Had a good talk with Denyse today on the email and on the phone in the stairway. If we can keep that kind of dialogue going, keep the bullshit at bay..
I miss funny. Gonads in the lightning, in the rain.
