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July 30, 2001
Frustration. I anticipate frustration because

Frustration. I anticipate frustration because I know there were a hundred, maybe ten thousand, things I wanted to remember to write down this weekend but I'll never get even a tiny fraction of them. Of course, many of the thoughts I have when "the spirit moves" during a show fade quickly when I leave. It makes me sometimes doubt the experience's validity, but I guess I know better. It's all one thing, one part of it doesn't support itself, I need all the elements. But I like to think, anyway, that traces of it linger, inform, teach and expand. They do, I'm sure of it. It's been almost 9 years, and I'm not tired, not bored, and still learning.

Amazing experiences both. Merriweather was very powerful, beautiful. Great to be there with Denyse, Dave and Cass. Dave and I can share this thing in a way that's very rare and beautiful. Trey's dad in the audience, and I was thinking about what an unbelievable pride that must be. A swelling pride that I would think would be almost unbearable. To watch your son on a stage, leading not just a band, not just a popular band, but practically a movement. And one with few bad aspects. I'm sure most famous people's parents are proud of them, but he's done it on his own terms, he's not a sell out, and he inspires devotion that no "mainstream" artist could touch. It made me want to have kids.

The release. Getting out of here, out of the city, and into that environment. Not just thousands of people there for a party, to get fucked up, but really there to be shaken up. They know they're going to hear something new, something full of passion and soul. And they're rarely disappointed. I know I wasn't.

Then PNC was very good too. It's a shame the way a lot of these venuse are run these days, becoming less and less friendly and more and more profit driven. Of course they were always profit driven, and of course they have their rules and some would say (have said) that if you choose to break the rules, you can't complain when you're caught. But this is wrong. If the rules are unreasonable, it doesn't follow. You know.. Thomas Paine. One hassle is forgiveable, you always run into one or two staff people who have a chip on their shoulder. Sometimes I can see it from their perspective and understand their frustration, if not their behavior. But sometimes, quite often actaully, I don't understand the behavior of some of my "fellow" music lovers either. So it goes both ways. But when one, two, three incidents, you start to feel there's something wrong. The pre-show briefing for the staff must have warned of the "dangerous mob of hippies" likely packing granola bars (contraband!) and possibly water. We're not checking carefully for drugs, we just want to make sure they feel thoroughly violated before they enjoy the show. They made me throw away 3 granola bars. I guess they had a point.. If I had been able to keep them, I wouldn't have bought a $5 slice of doughy, undercooked pizza.

Speaking of.. beer.. the employee who decided that their also irritating wristband policy wasn't enough, he had to check my ID again. Sorta defeats the whole purpose of the wristband, don't it?

Anyway, I argued my piece, won handily, and got what I had every right to have. I'm sorry if you don't like your job, but it's really not my fault.

Today I'm crazy tired and have a volleyball game tonight. Might have to go home for a nap. And shoes.

I lost my train of thought (train of rant), and thus have ended this post lazily.. like this..


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