So much has been said. So many times. I've written it on the topic project, more people read that. Luke started a blog on his site, he's written some very good words.
I'm happy that I have so many friends around me, and around the world. I got emails from all over, calls eventually, once the lines were a little better. It's very warming to feel cared for.
Yesterday Denyse, Liz, James, Joel and I went to Central Park. It was very surreal day. Wednesday, beautiful, one in a million weather, and there were hundreds of people on the Sheep Meadow. People wanted to be outside, to feel normal, to be around people. It's possible of course that people just didn't care and thought they had a free vacation day, but I doubt it. You could see it on people's faces. They were enjoying themselves, throwing frisbees, playing soccer, but there was something underneath. People were making eye contact.
We went down to James' place, met up with Luke, Julie, and Rich, and made margaritas and Liz cooked up some food. We wanted to be around each other, just hang out with people. We decided that we should have a regular dinner party, at least once a month. We'll play volleyball, hopefully this weekend. We've been awakened to ourselves. All those things we've been saying we "really should do more often".. I think now we will.
People are being more polite. I know it won't last, New York is New York, but for now, there's eye contact, caring, politeness. Some of it will last, or the memory of it anyway. Things have changed.
I'm collecting all my emails and IMs and I'll start working on a page. Just to display it. What happened. We have to remember.
My feelings keep changing, sometimes I don't even know what they are. I don't know what to do with myself. It's really hard to be sitting here at work, thinking about websites (or not). It feels like I should be doing something else, something more important. I can't waste anymore time. I know I can do things, small things, and that leaving my job is unrealistic right now. But it's stirred me up. I'm going to look into EMT training, as I've been saying for years. If I had done that before, I could have helped on Tuesday. I could have been killed too. But I would have been doing something.
