slapnose.com

I wonder about the thoughts I have when I'm intoxicated. There's the old argument between "it's what you're really feeling, unfiltered, unedited and truthful" and "it's small things magnified, out of proportion, exaggerated". I think it's a really hard question. During those times, I always (maybe not always) feel like it's all closer to the surface. My emotions and ideas are less bogged down with superficial concerns and my attention is turned inward, but at the same time, I'm missing the composure and organization to do anything with those thoughts but watch them go by. It's a cruel trade-off: You get to be enlightened, but you'll have to forget. Enlightenment won't be as certain as you think, enlightenment will only be the realization that you can never really be sure. It's not the answer you find, it's the understanding that there is no answer.