In a surprise move, the government has announced that September will be "National Preparedness Month."
Presumably what they mean for us to be prepared for is that George Bush will win a second term as president. Should this emergency actually come to pass, Americans will be empowered and educated, and hopefully we'll all have an escape route already planned.
Ha ha. Of course what they really mean for us to be prepared for is terrorist attacks on our precious homeland. They also surely mean for us to remember that in order to be best prepared, we should really consider voting for George Bush or not voting at all. If you feel nervous, just stay home on Election Day, there's no shame in it. There are plenty of people who will brave the outdoors to vote, and you can be assured that they will make a good choice for you. Are you really going to put participation in the democratic process ahead of the safety of your family? If you do, the terrorists have truly already won.
The announcement of "National Preparedness Month" is to be made by Tom "WOLF! RIGHT BEHIND YOU! SERIOUS THIS TIME!" Ridge on September 9.
Well that's odd. Why would they announce a month of preparedness a full week and two days into said month? Seems like you'd want to get the full month involved.
Oh, right, right. The anniversary of September 11 falls on a Saturday this year, so it's important to get the announcement made on the preceding Thursday so it can get into the papers on Friday and onto the Sunday morning news shows.
Wow. It's some complicated business, manipulating an entire nation's darkest fears...
