I guess I'm a little late to this one, but it's very important news, so...
Iraq's Ayatollah Sistani has his very own website, featuring a handy Q&A section on the laws of Islam. You can learn a lot here...
Answer: Permission is bound to wife's agreement, but it is strongly undesirable.
He takes a slightly harder line on hand-shaking..
Answer:It is not permissible.
And woe be to the man who wants to have a game of chess..
Answer:It is absolutely unlawful.
And finally, the ever popular masturbation question..
Answer:You are not allowed to do it with hand, but your wife is.
Matt Yglesias also points out that the Ayatollah Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran, has a similar section on his website, featuring remarkably specific queries...
A: The bone of a Muslim corpse that has been given ritual bath [ghusl] is not impure [najis], though it is obligatory to bury it under the ground.
And..
A: The upper part of the flowing water will be clean if the water can be said to be flowing from a higher plane to a lower one.
And finally, the roundup wouldn't be complete without a little anal play...
A: The above-mentioned method is not permissible, as it is one of the instances of unlawful masturbation.
Oh, and before anyone accuses me of being insensitive to the laws of Islam, don't bother. I'm an equal-opportunity religion derider, ask anyone.
