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February 16, 2005
Strongly Undesirable

I guess I'm a little late to this one, but it's very important news, so...

Iraq's Ayatollah Sistani has his very own website, featuring a handy Q&A section on the laws of Islam. You can learn a lot here...

Question: Is anal intercourse permissible.?

Answer: Permission is bound to wife's agreement, but it is strongly undesirable.

He takes a slightly harder line on hand-shaking..

Question:Are shaking of hands with girls allowed?

Answer:It is not permissible.

And woe be to the man who wants to have a game of chess..

Question:Is playing a chess allowed?

Answer:It is absolutely unlawful.

And finally, the ever popular masturbation question..

Question:If my wife wants me to masturbate in front of her, is it then allowed?

Answer:You are not allowed to do it with hand, but your wife is.

Matt Yglesias also points out that the Ayatollah Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran, has a similar section on his website, featuring remarkably specific queries...

Q 238: While digging a canal in a cemetery changed into a public square a bone belonging to a corpse buried 40 to 50 years ago is found in it. Is there anything wrong in touching such bones for the purpose of viewing them? Are the bones impure [najis]?

A: The bone of a Muslim corpse that has been given ritual bath [ghusl] is not impure [najis], though it is obligatory to bury it under the ground.


Q 74: If the lower part of a small quantity of water [qaleel water] that flows downward without pressure comes into contact with an impure substance [najasah], will its upper part remain pure [taahir]?

A: The upper part of the flowing water will be clean if the water can be said to be flowing from a higher plane to a lower one.

And finally, the roundup wouldn't be complete without a little anal play...

Q 801: Is it permissible to bring out the semen by stimulating the prostate gland by one's own finger through the anal passage so that semen is discharged without an orgasm and without causing bodily weakness?

A: The above-mentioned method is not permissible, as it is one of the instances of unlawful masturbation.

Oh, and before anyone accuses me of being insensitive to the laws of Islam, don't bother. I'm an equal-opportunity religion derider, ask anyone.


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Can Muslim girls swallow, if they are married?