... is not likely to be an American.
While increasing funding for abstinence education and funding such vital resources as the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and the unxsutawney Weather Museum in Pennsylvania, Congress is also cutting the funding of the National Science Foundation.
Who needs science anyway? In a generation or two, we'll all be Bible-quoting, evolution-denying, STD-infected, pregnant and vastly knowledgeable about the history of rock 'n roll and groundhogs, and the Nobel Prizes will just start rolling in.
The rest of the world is laughing as we plunge our great country right back into the dark ages.